A forthcoming biography of Queen Elizabeth II reveals a previously unreported moment of tension between the late monarch and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, centered on the selection of a wedding tiara. According to royal biographer Robert Hardman in his book Elizabeth II: In Private. In Public. The Inside Story, what was meant as a customary bonding ritual turned into a significant breach of royal protocol that irritated the Queen and her senior staff.
A Customary Invitation
Hardman details that, following tradition, Queen Elizabeth invited Meghan Markle to Buckingham Palace to choose a tiara from the royal collection for her 2018 wedding to Prince Harry. The author describes this as the Queen's "lovely way of bonding with the bride," where she would preselect a few pieces she believed would suit the individual. This established practice was a personal gesture from the sovereign to royal brides, intended as a private and significant moment.
The Disputed Details
The account diverges from Prince Harry's own recollection in his memoir Spare, where he wrote that he was invited to the selection. Hardman's reporting indicates Harry's presence was itself a noticeable departure from precedent. However, the primary friction arose after the meeting. The couple reportedly requested that the chosen tiara—Queen Mary's Diamond Bandeau—be sent to them so Meghan could practice wearing it before the wedding day.
This request, according to Hardman, sparked immediate displeasure. The Queen's senior dresser and curator, Angela Kelly, was upset by the suggestion. The biographer quotes an aide relaying the Queen's own sharp reaction: "It's not a toy." The incident was severe enough within palace circles to earn the nickname "Tiaragate," underscoring its status as a serious diplomatic misstep within the family.
Protocol and Perception
The episode highlights the often-unseen strictures of royal protocol and the challenges faced by new members entering the institution. The Queen's personal collection of jewels is not merely ornamental but represents centuries of state history and tradition; their handling is governed by precise rules. A request to treat a historic piece as a rehearsal prop was viewed as profoundly disrespectful of both the item's significance and the Queen's authority as its lender.
This revelation adds another layer to the public narrative of Meghan and Harry's increasingly strained relationship with royal household operations, which culminated in their step back as senior working royals in 2020. It illustrates the cultural clashes that occurred behind palace walls, where informal American attitudes met centuries-old British formality.
Such internal disputes over protocol and access can have wider implications for institutional stability. While not on the scale of a major national security incident or a canceled high-stakes Pentagon briefing, they reveal the pressures within a major public institution. Similarly, conflicts over authority and procedure are not confined to palaces, as seen in contemporary political spats like calls for expulsion in the U.S. House over ethics concerns.
Hardman's book, sourced from interviews with palace aides and staff, provides a counterpoint to the narrative presented in Harry and Meghan's various media projects. It frames the late Queen not as a distant figure but as a traditionalist head of an institution, personally frustrated when its customs and treasures were not treated with what she deemed appropriate gravity.
